Who am I?
As what will I define myself?
Based on what do I want my identity to be? Today we will be discovering identity. This is a post that is for everyone. Whether you’re a teenager, in your early 20s or have kids and are thriving in your 30s or 40s, this journey is one ever person goes through every day.
Identity, the backstory
Deep down there is a part of you that is screaming to come out. Why are you blocking that part of you?
Why do you believe that all you deserve is the worst in life? Why do you always expect the worst in every situation? Why are you afraid of the good things in life? A good life is scary, I know.. Especially when all you’re used to is struggles, doubts, suffering and pain. When you’re used to giving it your all, hoping for the best and still receiving average things.
The urge to go back to what I’m used to… Caring for others while neglecting myself. Doing everything for others whilst minimizing and ignoring my own needs and feelings. Being left alone to face and fend for myself.
I want to pour my love into something, but I don’t know what? Having this burst of energy that I don’t know how to get rid of. This bundle of joy and love, that has been blocked inside. Having no idea how to show or express such goodness that I’m so used to keeping within.
Staying quiet… Severing the moments… Controlling emotions… I can’t remember how to do that? Years go by, while my shy and fear filled self is still in control.
I lost a part of me back then..
Silenced when I had to speak up, loud when I had to be quiet.
My personality seems to have been flipped upside down.
Writing… Although the words of my mind are flowing out, I have no idea how to turn it into something helpful or empowering for someone else. I want to help, but I don’t know how… The things that I want to help you with are things that I’m trying to figure out myself.
Stay strong through it all though… We are doing this! We are learning and growing! So, go with me on that journey now.. discovering identity
Identity definition
According to google identity means the following:
These days people are trying to identify themselves through different labels and live according to those things. Although I am very happy that many people have found words to describe themselves with, I’m often baffled by the sadness and confusion that their own identity brings them. Often rather than live as the person you identify yourself as, their own identity is the prison they lock themselves in. After realizing that, I decided to go back to the good old faithful, the living word, and try to see what it says about identity.
The first verse that came to mind is
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:7
One of the first things I had to remember while thinking about my identity is that I am made in His image. Which means that I am made out of love.
This verse was a reminder that with all the bad that is present in the world and all the negative things I have found within myself, I was created for good and with good characteristics..
One of the things that can help you if you’re struggling with identity is looking for a couple of good qualities that you posses.
Example:
- Caring for family and friends
- Animal lover
- Good at listening
- etc..
Discovering identity
There are two verses that stood out to me during this week’s Bible study: 1 Peter 3:3-4 and Matthew 6:33-34
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 peter 3:3-4
I always used to think that to have the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, you had to be quiet on the outside, but I realized that that was not the focus of this passage. God wanted you to have peace within. Which means not overthinking everything. Not focussing on the things that you’re not. Not focusing on the things that have no importance in your life whatsoever.
The second verse:
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
matthew 6:33-34
The beauty that lies within is the goal, and the way to get there is by focusing on the things that are above. Sometimes the most healthy thing you can do for your own mental health is talking down on those feelings. Knowing that the things that are around you will keep on spinning and trying to keep up with the things that you cannot control and are fleeting will take you down a rabbit hole you don’t want to go in.
If you focus on the fact that those feelings are just feelings and that they will fade, it gives your mind room to focus on the good things that help you heal (2 Corinthians 10:3-5), to focus on the present day and the things that can be done.
While focusing on the things that are above, it is important to note that you should not be afraid when you see your outside start to change into something you couldn’t have ever imagined. For true transformation will be visible to the outside world one day and it will look nothing like what you’re used to today.
Before I continue, I would also like to point out verse 34, which focuses on not worrying about tomorrow. Meaning while you’re on this journey, choose to focud on what you can do today. Staying in the moment. Even though you won’t see immediate results surrounding your identity or the understanding of how to discover your identity or the discovery itself, it is important to not worry about it. This journey might take a couple of weeks, months or even years, because you will keep growing and changing as time goes on.
The transformation begins with acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, more about that in Before the purpose| Discover purpose 2 . Based on that you will have to discern and decide what is good for you to consume and what isn’t. Allowing yourself to stray from the broad path that has been laid out before you by the world, taking the path that is different and leads to eternal joy and peace.
Starting new hobbies that before were strange or even not enjoyable to you. Studying things that before you thought were irrelevant.
Yes, your circle will change. Yes, your diet might look different from then on. Yes, your schedule will no longer be the same, it’ll probably be busier than it was before, but not in a way that is draining, but in a way that will bring you closer to the eternal life that you desire. The ways of this lifestyle is different from the one you have lived and known before.
From that moment on, your identity will start to become clearer to you and as a person you will be stronger.
Every aspect of your life will slowly change, including the way you walk and talk, it might seem scary art first, but take comfort, in the long run, you’ll realize that it is more you than the you that you know today.
All your time will be spent intentionally, surrounded by the people and the things that are good for you. Whether awake or asleep, it’s all to the advantage of the goal and vision that you have for your life. If you don’t know how to find the vision for your life, here’s a post on how to discover the vision for your life.
At this point you might be thinking, this is a lot, but I want you to find comfort in the fact that everyone is going through this daily. Even though it might not seem the case, it is a fact. Embrace this journey, love yourself through it, which will sometimes mean you’ll have to do things that don’t always make you happy in the moment and have grace for yourself when it seems all to hard to endure.
I hope you enjoyed this post.
If you want to read more posts, click here.
If you want to follow my day to day journey, follow me on Instagram here, if you want more inspo, don’t hesitate to follow me on Pinterest too.
Big love,
Joy
